Feeling like a hot mess? Come sit by me!

Now that I’ve been a mom for almost seven years, I’ve finally figured out how to spot fellow mamas in the wild.  You will know us by the circles under our eyes.  Just kidding.  Sorta.

Seriously though, on so many days, I feel like I have been sent to earth on a mission from God to help other moms feel better about themselves.  

Not so much in an awesome and encouraging type of way (although I would love that) but more of an at-least-I’ve-got-it-together-better-than-that-woman kinda way.  Each one of us is a hot mess in our own special way.  I just tend to be more mess than hot.  

So if you’re a stressed out mom and you’re looking to feel a bit better about yourself, here are a few ways that I can help you out with that.  
Just remember…  

You are not alone if…

       You’ve ever had to do the walk of shame from the very back of Target, carrying a 35-pound three-year-old having a total meltdown because  he can’t have the $75 Thomas track set.  Now your picture is up as a warning to employees.

They’re serious when they suggest
you cover the sandbox every time.
Your kids have ever come running up to you from the sandbox to show you the buried treasure they found.  It’s really, really not old Play-Doh.  *cough*cat poop*cough*

Your two-year-old daughter has screamed her head off for 20 miles because of the total injustice of not being able to pee out of the open door of the minivan into the grass on I-10.

      You’ve missed an appointment because your kids have played hide-and-seek with your car keys.  And they are very, very good at hide-and-seek.

Your date nights have gone from candlelit dinners and strolls in the moonlight to a turkey potpie, a beer, and a Redbox.  And you’re so grateful for them!

Sometimes jail seems like it might actually be a vacation.  Well.  The Martha Stewart kinda jail.  Not that Scared Straight jail.  Yikes.

       You’ve worn yoga pants and running shoes at least three mornings this week to drop your kid off at school but you haven’t stepped foot in the gym in eight months.

For your last birthday, all you really and truly wanted was to sleep past 8 am.

They were laughing it up just after
this picture was taken, so don’t feel
too bad…
When your kids draw whiskers and stripes all over each other’s faces in semi-permanent marker, you’ve learned how to simultaneously put them in time out and take pictures.

You know that, even after enduring the pain of childbirth, stepping on a Lego can make you want to cuss like a sailor and cry like a baby.


You could happily survive on coffee and wine alone.

You know that no matter how tired, cranky, or stressed out you might be, you wouldn’t trade being their mom for anything in the whole world!

(But a cruise sure would help sweeten the deal.)

Comments

  1. Oh, this is so true and so funny! I always feel like a hot mess. :D
    My recent post Skiing Lessons

  2. Sign me up for that cruise .. available any day of the week.
    My recent post Shot@Life Champions in Washington DC

  3. This made me laugh so hard!!!! Ahhhh…..I love it!!
    Hi ashley!!! It's so nice meeting you. Thank you fr leaving such a lovely comment on my blog! I love new friends! Fantastic post!!!

    Xoxo hanna
    My recent post The Girl Behind Bouffe e Bambini

  4. tamaralikecamera says:

    Love this! It reminds me of my experience at our local library storytime yesterday. Had the baby who pooped himself and the three-year-old who was lazing on a chair and calling herself Snow White and loudly ordering me around like a servant..At least the other parents laughed with me, and not at me.
    My recent post Let It Grow.

  5. tamaralikecamera says:

    Well I had to respond again to tell you that she WAS wearing a full Snow White costume to the library. I just made her wear it over her clothes because it's so cold here and because on the off chance she got sick of it, built in outfit underneath. She didn't get sick of it and when other moms asked her her name, she deadpanned, “Snow White.” As if it should have been obvious!
    My recent post Let It Grow.

  6. Girl, you are speaking my language! It is nice to know we are not alone in the world! That last picture cracked me up…I have had several of those “picture in time out” moments!
    My recent post Nate ~ Two Months

  7. Love this post!!! You and I are so much alike… So funny. :) Visiting from SITS!!
    My recent post One Note Short…

  8. I just stopped by from SITS Girls to say hello. Thx for this great read. I love your sense of humor about it all.

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